In Episode #71, Dr. Jill talks to LA Stylist Spencer Barnes about their mutual experience with Crohn’s disease and the meaning that illness may have in a patient's life for transformation, manifesting the life that you desire.

Key Points

• Spencer and Dr. Jill discuss their mutual experience with Crohn’s disease and the meaning that illness may have in a patients life for transformation
• How authenticity and alignment translate to magnetic inner beauty
• Why energy and attitude really matter in manifesting the life that you desire

Guest – Spencer Barnes LA Stylist

https://www.instagram.com/spencerbarnesla/

Dr. Jill

Dr. Jill Carnahan is Your Functional Medicine Expert® dually board certified in Family Medicine for ten years and in Integrative Holistic Medicine since 2015. She is the Medical Director of Flatiron Functional Medicine, a widely sought-after practice with a broad range of clinical services including functional medical protocols, nutritional consultations, chiropractic therapy, naturopathic medicine, acupuncture, and massage therapy. As a survivor of breast cancer, Crohn’s disease, and toxic mold illness she brings a unique perspective to treating patients in the midst of complex and chronic illness. Her clinic specializes in searching for the underlying triggers that contribute to illness through cutting-edge lab testing and tailoring the intervention to specific needs. 

Featured in Shape Magazine, Parade, Forbes, MindBodyGreen, First for Women, Townsend Newsletter, and The Huffington Post as well as seen on NBC News and Health segments with Joan Lunden, Dr. Jill is a media must-have. Her YouTube channel and podcast features live interviews with the healthcare world’s most respected names. 

A popular inspirational speaker and prolific writer, she shares her knowledge of hope, health, and healing live on stage and through newsletters, articles, books, and social media posts! People relate to Dr. Jill’s science-backed opinions delivered with authenticity, love and humor. She is known for inspiring her audience to thrive even in the midst of difficulties.

The Podcast

The Video

The Transcript

#71: Dr. Jill interviews LA Stylist Spencer Barnes about Crohn’s Disease

Text:

Dr. Jill  00:12

All right, we are live! Thank you, everyone, for your patience today. I am so excited. You guys have seen all the different stuff we do, and if you want to find more videos and all kinds of great stuff, the content is all free. You can go to my blog at JillCarnahan.com. It's all free. There are literally 10 years—a decade—of content there on health, functional medicine, and how to reverse chronic illness. You know what I talk about: Mold, Lyme, chronic illness, and inflammatory bowel disease. So go there; find free content. 

Dr. Jill  00:43

Today is really special to me because this is like an old soul friend who I just met, but we've known each other for hundreds of years, I think. So I am super, super excited today to introduce Spencer Barnes from LA. And we'll tell you in just a minute how we met, and I will let him tell you a little bit about his story. You can find all the old recordings either here on Facebook or on the YouTube channel under my name, JillCarnahan.com. And like I said, today is just a little different because instead of a doctor… Sometimes we have experts and honestly, sometimes they get a little boring, right? Today will not be boring, I promise you, because I've got my stylist from LA, and he is an amazing human being. He's a soul friend. He's one of those people you just instantly connect to and know. And we'll tell you a little about how we met. But I am just absolutely delighted to be here with you, Spencer. Thank you for taking the time to join me. 

Spencer Barnes  01:38

Of course. The second you asked, I was like, ‘Absolutely!' Dr. Jill and I met working on a shoot. We were doing some promo work to get ready for her documentary, which I cannot wait for, by the way. I'm so happy you're doing this. I'm so happy you're having conversations that allow people to explore and open up new avenues for total health and wellness, so thank you for all that you do. And if you don't know Dr. Jill, she's got a waiting list for years. She's incredibly difficult to get into. I feel like we have sat with her and worked with her for a few days. We instantly connected and had a bond. It was kind of crazy. We were talking and then we were like, “We have the same language!”

Dr. Jill  02:17

We kind of finished each other's sentences, right? I'll tell you what: I went there and this is my impression: I'm just a farm girl from Illinois. And then somehow, I went to medical school to pursue my dream. I've been a healer, so that's my thing. And honestly, here you are—you're a stylist in LA. You work with some of the most famous people in the world. I felt like who in the world am I to be going out to LA to work with this amazing group that Charlie, our producer, put together? I felt completely out of my league. And what happened is that not only did you make me feel at home and welcome, but you kind of validated… because what we're talking about today is inner beauty and the things that bring about the shine, the joy, and other things.

Dr. Jill  03:03

Makeup is amazing, and you are the best in the world, I think. You made me look beautiful on the shoot. But the neat thing that we both understand and have in common and want to share with listeners today is that you don't have to have perfect skin, perfect hair, or perfect makeup; the true beauty that people are drawn to like a magnet is your soul. And what happens is that so many of us show up with a mask or feel like we're not enough.

Dr. Jill  03:30

I have had over 40 years of learning that I am enough and that whole old message around not being enough—we all have that; I'm not unique. But when we have that, we have to feel like we have to show up as something that we're not. And people can see and sense that. So even if they're like, “Something is not right about this person… ” So what we want to talk about today and I want to hear from your perspective about all the different types of people you've worked with—we won't name any names, but I want to compare and contrast: How does authentic beauty show up?

Dr. Jill  04:01

My take on it is: The more we get our personalities aligned with our soul's purpose… Mine, I know; my soul purpose is to love people. It's so simple. And I don't always do a perfect job, but if I can show up and do my best on that day, that moment, or that hour to just love my patients, my friends, my family, and the people in my life, my soul and my personality are aligned in that. On an energetic level, it comes through loud and clear to the people I'm talking to as not only authenticity but beauty, because we love to see someone who's aligned with their soul and personality. You've worked with some absolutely amazing people. I felt like I was so out of my league. But what happened in LA was magic. Wasn't that weekend just spectacular? 

Spencer Barnes  04:45

It was spectacular out in Malibu. We just had one thing after the next. It was three days together and it went by in a flash. Every moment was just filled with so much magic and connection. And those are the times where I go, “Okay, this was definitely guided.” I felt like, “How did this come together with this incredible team?” It was truly orchestrated. It felt like [it was] by help from the other side; I don't know. It was magical. 

Dr. Jill  05:11

I could not agree more. And from my perspective, you saw me there and I felt like I was able to show authentically, but I've been on a journey as we all have been. And those of you listening, if you're in the middle of a journey and you're struggling, just let me encourage you: We're all on a journey. And the thing that happened for me there, Spencer, was that I'm kind of a control freak [with] what I wear and the things I need to survive—my food, water, and everything. And what I got to do there for the first time in such a big way was I got to go there and let go of all control. Like everybody [inaudible]. I would walk into the closet and say, “What do I wear now?” And that's not me, because I'm a planner. [I was] letting go of all control and just letting all of you on the team guide me. And then even more than that, I was silly and playful. We climbed onto things that said, “Do not enter,” right? 

Spencer Barnes  06:00

It was so fun. I felt like I was literally back… The thing that comes to mind is elementary school, when you're so young that you're free-spirited and whatever you do with your friends, you just go there and you're 100% there. It was like that with you. I love unlocking that kind of magic. I just want to start by saying two things. So with what you're saying, yes, I think we can all agree that this planet is undergoing something major through this global experience that came into being just last year, really last year, facing things none of us have ever faced individually or collectively before. And that's powerful. This great shift, whatever the outcome may be for each of us individually, is something we're all going through. What an opportunity to transform, transcend, and shift into what I hope is a much better version of reality—a much better new Earth. This is part of what I feel like I'm here to do for myself and for others. 

Spencer Barnes  07:04

A little bit about my background: I also grew up in a small town in exotic Provo, Utah. Provo is known as Happy Valley. I'm the third of seven children. We had a big family and it was a great place to grow up. [There was] lots of nature and the outdoors. We were very active. I was also very involved in art, music, acting, fitness, the outdoors, music, sports, and acting. It was a pretty full life. Between the ages of 8 and 23, I was in over a hundred productions, including some television and film productions and commercials that came through Utah and lots of stage shows of all kinds. So that was sort of my background.

Spencer Barnes  07:43

When I was young, I have to say that I remember thinking the world was a little off. As soon as I came onto the planet, I was like: “This feels sort of like not home but it's home. Okay, I can accept that.” I began a quest and I thought: “I wonder if I can somehow make the world, people, and my environment more beautiful so that maybe life would be more beautiful.” You said your mission is to love people. Mine is related in that it's to help people remember who they truly are by beholding them, by seeing them. Not the exterior masks that we all have. Not the filtered, distorted lenses that we quickly have put on us from the moment we're born, from family patterns to community things. Some of us may have had religious or educational backgrounds or whether it's a certain country or place we grew up in, all of these contribute to the filters that are put on us that distort our lens on reality, which becomes the tool we deal with for self-development. 

Spencer Barnes  08:50

When I was 22, I thought I was invincible. Everything I set out to [accomplish], I was able to accomplish. I had endless energy. I could work long hours on a project. And when I was almost 22 [years old], I started developing a lot of problems with my intestinal tract. I never had any health issues. I was very healthy. I started bleeding a lot. First, it started as diarrhea that didn't go away. And then I noticed; I was like: “Whoa! That's nothing but red. What's going on?” I must have eaten something and I thought, “There's nothing I ate that could have done that.” I watched it; it was blood. I was a little concerned. I thought it would go away and it didn't. 

Spencer Barnes  09:47

I called my mom and I was like, “Mom, what's going on? Have you ever seen this?” She was like, “Whoa, how long has that been going on?” After a couple of weeks, it was getting really intense. I think I was in the bathroom 30, 40, or 50 times a day. It was just this intense cramping pain that was getting to the point where I couldn't function. I didn't dare leave the house because I might just suddenly have to run to the toilet. So I said, “I think we need to go to the doctor.” 

Spencer Barnes  10:18

We called and found a specialist and they had a long waiting list. I said, “No, I think we need to get in sooner.” They pushed us forward and he did a scope. Through that, he diagnosed me with ulcerative colitis. I thought: “Okay, well, great! Give me the pill. Let's get it handled and get back to life!” He looked at me with that look that: I don't think you realize what this means yet; this is going to be a bit of a journey—[which] is what I gathered quickly. And when I looked over, my mom was crying. I was like: “I don't have cancer. I'm not dying.” But it was pretty serious. And I thought, “Maybe this is just going to be something that comes and goes.” But it didn't. It was something where I would get very ill. Then I would slowly get my energy back after a flare-up and go back into remission. 

Spencer Barnes  11:14

I tried a lot of things. I started doing research. I'm a researcher. I love science. In school, I was studying to be a cosmetic surgeon. But this is what happened. When I got really sick, I eventually dropped out of school, handled my gut health issues, and had some surgeries. Because it was so aggressive, I think I lost 40 pounds in that period of time. It was debilitating. It was really debilitating. I remember feeling isolated. It was hard for even some of my family members to relate because they didn't know. It's a thing that becomes a very internal world illness because you live with it in solidarity, and it does affect your state of presence and your ability to confidently take on things. If I went anywhere, I had to map out where the bathrooms were and know where I was going to be. It was sometimes scary. Sometimes I wasn't able to go places because of that. I just wanted my life back.

Spencer Barnes  12:26

Dr. Jill and I found that we had a similar story. I began trying to reach out to people. This is pre-Facebook, where the internet was just a simple tool to find some things. I started anything and everything, [such as] holistic diet changes, which helped a little bit. I did change my eating [habits] a lot and that helped a little bit, but it wasn't enough. I tried all of the known drug remedies, things like infliximab. They had me on prednisone a lot, which had a lot of awful side effects. And I thought: “This cannot be the way. This can't be my future life to live this way, where I'm just constantly yo-yoing between barely getting along health to back into a full-blown attack. 

Spencer Barnes  13:11

After almost two years—it was about a year and a half—I said, “This isn't going to work.” I started talking to people who had made a more drastic move. But I felt like this was what I needed to do. I was fortunate enough to meet someone who had had—he was my age, maybe a little younger—the surgery that I was considering. It's called a J-pouch, or ileoanal surgery. It's a pretty major surgery. They took out my entire large intestine and used the end of my smaller intestine to create basically a fake colon—a small J-shaped colon—and attach it to my rectal stump so that I would be able to have full bowel control and a normal life without having to wear an external pouch. I didn't want a colostomy bag or ileostomy bag for the rest of my life, if possible. 

Spencer Barnes  14:04

I found the best surgeon. He's the doctor—who happened to be at my home state, the University of Utah—who created this surgical technique. He did my surgery, and I was on the table for about 12 and a half hours. 

Dr. Jill  14:17

Oh, unbelievable. 

Spencer Barnes  14:21

Yes. He said it was an intense surgery. I remember [being] in recovery; I didn't realize that I almost could have died. I was sicker than I even realized. We don't have time to go into all the details, but there were so many things that I look back on now, and I was grateful to have a friend who'd had a liver transplant who intuitively knew that this was a pretty major thing. Even my family was in shock a little because they didn't know quite what to expect. I'm so glad that that doctor was able to help me get into full recovery. It took about six months, and then I started to feel like myself again at 23. 

Dr. Jill  15:04

How many years ago was your surgery, Spencer? How many years ago was this?

Spencer Barnes  15:08

I'm 44, so it was half my life ago. 

Dr. Jill  15:10

Oh my gosh, we're like the same age too. I'm 45. 

Spencer Barnes  15:14

Amazing! I can't believe all that you've accomplished in your life; it's amazing. 

Dr. Jill  15:19

Well, you too. So go back. We have all the time in the world. You had someone with a liver transplant who actually… You're right. You just hit on something so key—and I think to people who are listening too—that isolation. I just talked yesterday to two patients with the documentary, and both of them had this story about a chronic, severe illness like you and I have had. And there was this isolation feeling—I could talk about masks. There are a few inner circle people who really know your full story and the extent of your suffering. But the general person, when they say, “How are you doing?” doesn't want to know you're losing your colon and that you're having to run to the restroom every 20 minutes. 

Dr. Jill  15:19

I had Crohn's disease. It's very, very similar. Initially, it was diagnosed as ulcerative colitis as well.  

Spencer Barnes  16:00

Mine too. They later changed the diagnosis. 

Dr. Jill  16:05

Yes. What you're saying is so relevant to the people listening—that isolation when we have chronic illness and feeling like people don't really get it. And you look okay on the outside. Granted, you probably lost weight like I did, but generally, you look okay. So for people to see you, they're like, “Well, you look fine,” right? 

Spencer Barnes  16:23

Yes. I was so young. My colleagues were doing all these things, and I was like, “I can't go.” I was pulling back, and everyone was like, “Okay, I guess you're sick.” Fortunately, I did get back to health. But I was still a little baffled, like: “What happened that caused this? Why did I get this?” And they said it's probably a predisposition to genetics. On both sides of my family, no one that I knew of had serious issues. I discovered an uncle who had a short, brief battle with what seemed to be some sort of bowel issue. But other than that, it was not present. I still wondered what this was all about. 

Spencer Barnes  17:10

Later in life, I had some unusual experiences. I was introduced to some intuitives through my agents back when I was acting a lot. She's like: “I really want you to meet this woman; I feel like she can help you.” It was unrelated to this, but this intuitive—this is the first time I met this person; I was 18, so it was before this—in her reading, she said: “In a past life, you had died in this tragic…”  It was more tragic. It was maybe related to a family member or someone close to the family. “You were stabbed in the stomach.” And that's where she left it and I thought: “Past life—I don't even know if I believe in that. I'm just trying to get through this life.” So it didn't really resonate. I shelved it and forgot about it, to be honest. 

Spencer Barnes  18:01

But then this same agent, when I was 24, almost 25, was like, “I have someone else I want you to meet.” This was a different intuitive. My agent was also getting into healing a lot and had just switched her career to a lot of really cool healing modalities. But this intuitive said a similar thing but went into more detail and I thought, “Wait a minute, I heard this before.” But it still didn't quite click until I was 35, which was years later when I crossed paths with someone by, you think, total chance. It was the last five minutes of the last day at a huge music festival here in California called Coachella. And I met someone who, as soon as we met—I'll never forget—it was like an electromagnetic energy vortex was opened, and I knew that I knew this person instantly. From that point forward, I can't go into the whole story, but I began to understand that we had a past-life connection. 

Spencer Barnes  19:03

He is from Iceland. That's where he lives to this day, so it was very unusual for us to meet at a place like this. But we developed a powerful friendship and connection and saw each other in different places in the world the next year. It was after we had this karmic wound reopening that I was able to begin to deeply heal and understand on a soul level why this illness came through in this life and what there was for me to heal in the sacral wound area of my body, the gut area. Through that, not only did I open things that I never would have imagined would be possible to open and heal things that I didn't even know needed to be healed, but I also pulled through all kinds of gifts that, to this day, have served me and allowed me to help other people through their journeys. 

Spencer Barnes  19:59

You experienced it firsthand. Not a lot of people know, but I'm kind of a closet psychic medium. It's getting harder for me to hide because it's getting a lot stronger and clearer, and I work with a lot of people. I'm not going to open a shop and do readings. That's not my purpose. Whenever things come through that feel guided, I just offer it up, and if the person's in a place to receive, that's usually a sign that they're on that same frequency. I share what I can. It's been amazing to see what's possible with that gift, and that's part of the healing that I bring through the work I do as a makeup artist. I work with image, the external shell, but there's this intrinsic connection with our internal self and our external self. And if we can help marry the two and clear the illusions, it's amazing to see how the authentic light of a person can be unleashed and unlocked by bringing that to the forefront and clearing away that which is not self. That's something that I really think is why I've had a huge success. I never anticipated being a makeup artist. Even that's a story. It just happened and it happened really quickly. 

Dr. Jill  21:13

How did that happen?—because here you were, going into this pathway and there was this shift, and then here you are. But I knew the moment I met you—you're a healer. We don't have to be in the medical profession to be healers. And it's funny because I went into medicine not knowing I was a healer. And what you touched on is so important with both of us in totally different professions. I feel like I'm a scientist at heart and I learned all the science in medical school, and you like that too, right? That's a piece of the foundation, the study, like you said. Why did this happen? You wanted to learn and research, and I've done that all my life. But what I found is that a lot of times now, the real truth and magic come from listening to that intuitive voice, which comes from experience. And for you too, it's like seeing that person for who they are, giving them holding space for them to just show up and be authentically them. 

Dr. Jill  22:05

So often we go into spaces where there's judgment, there's fear, there's threat, and there's control. And what you did for me and all of the team, and then hopefully what I'm doing in the office for patients, is creating a space that is free of threat, control, judgment, or fear and just purely love, and allowing that space for them to show up authentically without any fear or thing that keeps them from being themselves. When they come and share their story deeply and I can listen and hold space, often—because of experience and my scientific background—I can listen and hear things that maybe nobody else has heard and make conclusions and solve mysteries that no one has ever solved because that intuition comes in. 

Dr. Jill  22:47

I always think about it like the left brain is like an old computer and that's like science. You can make checklists, and you can put hundreds of pieces of data together in your analytical mind. But when we use the right brain—the creative, the experiential, the intuitive—we can subconsciously process millions of pieces of data in an instant. I can often have the diagnosis on that level before I ever prove it with science because I'm just listening to my heart and my soul and sensing where to go. I still prove it with the labs and the science, so I'm a good scientist. But what you're saying is a similar thing: You're looking at a person, and you're holding space for that person in front of you. 

Dr. Jill  23:21

You did this for me because as soon as I got in your chair, I was like, “I like this guy and he sees me.” I could cry because there are so few people in the world who create that space for you to be seen and you do that. And that's magic and that's a gift of healing that you offer to the people who sit in your chair. 

Spener Barnes  23:41

Thank you. And I too have learned that beholding someone—which is seeing them without any judgment, which is a part of unconditional love—is hard to always do. When our states are lower and we're under stress, or if we feel judgment, often we get defensive and our defense systems go up. When we're doing the work we do, it is so important for me to create an environment where there's trust. Trust brings that ability for intimacy to happen, and that's when authenticity rises up and things that need to be cleared—if there are things that are holding us back from greater authenticity—come up. Then we can arm people with the courage to become everything that they are truly meant to be—like you, through your work. They're very different, but they're related. 

Spener Barnes  24:35

I know that a lot of the girls, and guys too—I primarily work with women, but I've worked with lots of men—all have a purpose. We all have a sole purpose. Sometimes people are meant to work within their communities, family lines, or a specific profession, whereas others may bring incredible inventions and new knowledge to the earth to help build the foundation and blueprint of a new reality. Others, through their healing work, help support those who are meant to become public messengers, those who are meant to be in the limelight and influence a lot of people as archetypes, maybe through the roles they play as actors or as creators and artists that speak on a number of things. I realized quickly that this is the work that I'm doing with my girls, and if I could help them align with that, I call that the magic zone. When we can align with our authenticity, we're freer, require less energy to create more magic, and are brighter.

Spener Barnes  25:37

I know you've seen this, where someone can walk into a room that's ignited with their true light. They are like a magnet or a lighthouse; they beam and people are inexplicably drawn to them, or those that are at least on that same frequency are drawn to connect with them. And it's pretty effortless. I think that anything we can do to first get into that space ourselves and then help bring that to others sends ripples in every direction, and the world does become a better place. Life is more beautiful. 

Dr. Jill  26:09

Yes, I love it. I just talked to a friend, and she had done some work with me on healing. She's a naturopath; she's just amazing. I just got back from that appointment a couple of hours ago. I was in tears, and I'm like, “My friend, what you don't realize is that here I am making a documentary, and I think that people will see it, and we'll make an impact in the world… ” And I'll tell that brief story in just a second because I think it's related to your authenticity. But what I told her is, “Every person like you in my life who supported me and helped me in my healing journey and saw me and then encouraged me or brought truth into my life, I realized we're all standing on the shoulders of those around us who are lifting us up and helping us to heal. And I'm just so grateful every day because I know that the journey I'm on right now is only because of people who love me and have poured into my life and my healing.” 

Dr. Jill  27:03

Even you—in the time in LA—were one of those healers for me. Here I show up in the world a lot as a healer, but then I feel like God puts in my life all of these other people around me that lift me up. I know I could never do what I do without all this crowd of people who are helping me. 

Dr. Jill  27:19

And my little story—you mentioned the documentary—I haven't talked a lot publicly. There are little glimpses. But if you're listening, now I'm going to tell you briefly the story I told Spencer because it has to do with authenticity. I had a lot of learning to do last year and I got out of several very difficult relationships. But the biggest lesson that came out of that was that—just like you said, our souls need these lessons—I feel like the Divine often brings illness, suffering, or difficult relationships because it's teaching. If we can embrace those as teachers… I've had some really bad relationships and they were all teachers. They brought me to a place where I realized: 1) I'm worthy of love and 2) I can trust my soul and intuition. Even in the midst of difficult relationships, my soul and my intuition always knew, “There's something not right here.” But I didn't trust myself. Then I got through that and I really started to believe in the value that God has given me and then also trust my journey and my intuition. 

Dr. Jill  28:14

Everything shifted from there, Spencer. On January 1st, I woke up and I had this idea: Since COVID hit, people are more on screens than ever before and I'm writing a book. But what if I could be on a screen and teach what I want to teach about healing and reach more people than the book? I just had the idea and within seven days, I had a producer, a director, and an executive assistant. They just came together and I was like, “What in the world?” 

Spencer Barnes  28:34

Wow! That's a sign; that is what's meant to happen. And even—you hadn't told me yet—when we were together, I was like, “Why do I see you having a… It's like a show. It's like a talk show. And I feel that you're making some type of a film.” And you were like, “I have a documentary!” You were like, “Yes, yes.” I'm like, “There you go.” 

Dr. Jill  29:00

I know. That's what I mean. Of course, you need a large budget. I won't say the number, but it's a lot of money. We had the producer put it together. And you guys, I'm a doctor; I don't have a clue about filmmaking but I have this intuition and I followed it. Before I even started—again, this is a divine thing—I created a production company. I was like, “Okay, I'll just move forward.” And then what happened in the next few months was that we had a budget. And I just trusted. I had the sense of: “I don't know where this money's coming from to make the film. But I know that if it's supposed to happen, it will.” So it was this weird thing, like, “Wow, this is crazy,” but also just the assuredness that if I'm on the right path, that will come. Well, just in May, we got full funding from a single investor for the movie, and we were filming. The last two days, we've been full-fledged filming with a full crew. And the beautiful thing is that—because I always start with devotional breathing and just getting centered—I was telling them both days: “Guys, the magic is in the moment, which means right now today, with the people who come in and this crew right here. The magic is in our experience today.” It's great if we make a film, and I think we will and it'll be amazing. It was “Big Moments in a Small Frame”—the song that I shared with them. 

Dr. Jill  30:17

With you and me in LA and the whole team, the magic happened that weekend. We created some great shots that captured it. But I really want to live in that moment because it's about: What if the crew gets touched in some way or gets changed? That matters to me—not the production, not the final thing. So I was trying to bring it home: Let's live today in this moment and see what magic happens. And it's been amazing. So, a long story short, this idea became reality and I am filming a documentary. And I don't even know what I'm doing, but I'm trusting and it's happening. 

Spencer Barnes  30:56

Wow! Update for you: That really was, to me, a powerful story. Also, I just want to say that the time together we shared was because we were able to connect in such a real and now way. The energy that we all experienced on that and the things that we pulled through during those three days together are still with me, affecting me, and sending ripples in every direction of my life, believe it or not. And that's the power of being connected and present in the now, especially when we're connected to our true, authentic selves. We bring different light and energy and are also able to receive different light and energy from those we're interacting with. 

Spencer Barnes  31:35

Here's an update for you: I was just mesmerized listening to the magic of your story. It was one of those things where you have this thing you created in your mind. You knew from your production team what it would take to do this, and you sent it out and asked the universe: If this is meant to be, let me get the support. Within a short period of time, you got—not from a team of investors—one person who believes in what you're doing so much that he was willing to put the full amount forward and become a partner in this project. Since we last spoke, I had the same exact thing happen just two weeks ago. 

Dr. Jill  32:19

Oh, I love it! 

Spencer Barnes  32:20

With the exact same number that you had come up with. It's hard to believe. It's like, “Is this really happening?” And it's really happening. I'm pouring into something I've been wanting to do my whole life that will take me in a new direction, something I've been dabbling in for several years. As it gets closer, I'll be talking more about it. But I'll give you a hint: It has to do with music, which is something that we connected on immediately. When we were getting ready—and I love having music on in the background; it's a great way to vibrationally just bring a certain frequency or current—Dr. Jill's music… She was like: “This is my theme song for me. This is the vibe for the day.” And every song was like: “Oh, I love this! I'm sending this.”

Spencer Barnes  33:04

I tend to be someone who listens to a lot of music, and I love great music of all kinds. She had this particular frequency of electronic music that borderlines on the high-frequency inner world. When I was listening, it got my inner world tuned into a certain place. But it also related to the outer world. Most people, when they think of electronic music, think of club music or festival music. But this was a combination. It was anthemic but it was also very personalized. I loved it. That's another area we clicked on right away. 

Spencer Barnes  33:42

You said something about how you are now recognizing that you're worthy of love. I want to say, even taking it a step further, that you are love and love flows through you because you've connected within to that divine awareness. That worthiness is something many of us are taught from the minute we're born—that love is a commodity that's in rare supply. Imagine Disney and this “someday my prince will come” concept that love is going to come from one person eventually, when we're ready to launch from our families, and that it's going to be hard to find if you find it at all. I thought: How much has that cheated us out of realizing that love is something that we can first develop, hold, and discover within as an energy, a frequency of life—it is the life force—and that it can come in so many forms everywhere we go, every single minute of every day? There was so much love on that shoot together. It was like this buffet of all kinds of love magic because those are the people that you attracted and brought together for this very important shoot.

Spencer Barnes  34:58

One of the things that I've discovered that's helped me to live more authentically is clearing away anything that blocks me. We have this incredible body, but you've probably seen that science and the medical field don't really teach about this. They teach very little, not only about nutrition, but they don't really get into the… It's the physical laws of science. They don't get into the metaphysical or quantum kinds of things that are now showing up all over more than ever as the fabric of all life that can more rapidly than anything change our reality as we know it. As we get out of externalizing worth by our accomplishments, materialistic things, and relationships, and we go inside and cultivate an alignment within, we begin to realize that the connection is an intrinsic worth thing. We begin to realize we all have—it's part of our divine inheritance—from the one creator the ability to have and express that from within. And the minute we stop transactionalizing it outside of us, a huge shift happens. 

Dr. Jill  36:21

I love this! We're so aligned. That's exactly what I experienced before I could manifest the documentary and all that. I had to go through that transformation because I was looking for external validation through—I call it bad boyfriends—unhealthy relationships. There were some things that were not good there, but I didn't have any value for myself. Usually, when that happens, we're just recreating a belief in ourselves and mirroring it from the outside. 

Dr. Jill  36:49

One thing you said that I think is so valuable for people to hear because it's not unique to me: I was getting my validity and my love from achievement. I'm a recovering perfectionistic whatever. But all my life was [about] achieving and achieving—trying to get good grades, trying to be valedictorian, being a doctor, and all these things. I had just taken it on. My parents were amazing. They gave me intrinsic value. But I somehow thought that I wasn't valuable unless I was producing or achieving, so I spent 40 years producing and achieving, and it was never enough. 

Dr. Jill  37:24

I was a doctor. I got through medical school and I was valedictorian. These things happened, but none of them were enough to satisfy that longing in our soul for true love. The love comes from the divine and from our belief that we are valuable. Some of you hearing this may be like, “Oh, this is woo, woo.” It's not. Some of the best science is founded on the power of love to heal. I'm not afraid anymore to speak about that, because the truth is, that's really where the power lies. 

Spencer Barnes  37:54

Yes, it is a total mind, heart, body, and spirit; through our thoughts, our emotional system, and our connection to spirit—because we are energetically first spirit—and then to the physical vehicle. What shows up in our physical field is a manifestation of what has gone on way before in our thoughts and emotions, which affects everything. It really does. Of course, there are external factors. 

Dr. Jill  38:22

Even for you and me with the gut, that was because we had unhealed parts of ourselves that we had to deal with. And not that there aren't real physical things for which we need surgery, medication, herbs, or whatever, because I do that every day. 

Spencer Barnes  38:30

Of course, there's that too, yes. Usually, when we get to that point of disease, we're way past that. We can't just quickly do a few little things. It's like showing up as a 911—this needs to be addressed. We need great doctors and experts in science to help us when it gets to that point, but [it's also about] learning how to do more preventative health through nutrition and many other things. That's what I noticed on our shoot. You had so many things you were doing. I love it when I'm around people who get it. The foods you brought to the set, the things you do.

Dr. Jill  39:12

Oh, yes, my fridge, right? That's just stuff I do at home, but we took photos of it because it was [filled with things] like mineral water, fruits, and vegetables…

Spencer Barnes  39:21

Organic foods. And then you brought superfoods and supplemental things. I was like, “I've been looking for something like this!” 

Dr. Jill  39:29

I think I even gave you guys a B12 shot. 

Spencer Barnes  39:32

Oh, yes. I was like, “I need this every week, please.” You were a wealth of health and wellness and it was so fun to be in that zone. One other thing I want to share that Dr. Jill introduced to me and all of us there at the shoot… And I'm going to share with all of you on my page a special code so that you can have access to this. It is something that I first saw when I first experienced what I now know was a spiritual awakening. Several years ago, I met with the first healer, which for me seven years ago, was a big thing. I was like: “A healer? Well, I have tried everything else. Let me just go.” Because the same friend who is now helping me and jumping on my music project—he is a big hairstylist, and now he's doing so many other things; that's a story I'll have to tell you about—is the one who recommended me. He said he went to this healer. I was like, “Is she a psychic?” He was like: “No, she's a healer. But you came up in my psyche during this and she changed the direction of my life.”

Spencer Barnes  40:44

So I went to her. And just to bring this back to the point of why I brought it up, she had this healing mat she called it, which was the size of a massage table, like a yoga mat size. Inside of it, there were these channels filled with crystals like amethyst crystal. She said that it brings a different frequency into it and explained it a little but wasn't necessarily going into great detail. I had just started discovering and tuning into some of that. I didn't know a lot about it, but I was like, “Well, let's try this.” First, we did a big interview. She took me into this meditative space, though. She introduced me to something else I never really spent a lot of time with. It's called binaural beats. And you were talking about it.

Dr. Jill  41:32

Yes! I love it! I describe those to people for limbic activation. So, yes, I love, love, love it! Binaural beats.

Spencer Barnes  41:43

If you guys don't know what binaural beats are, they're different frequency channels or brain wavelengths. It's used to help you entrain or become familiar with and then calibrate your ability to flip into different wavelengths. With each of those wavelengths and frequency channels, you're able to perceive and tune into different information. Our whole universe is frequency. Through our alert state—we're talking about the left brain—almost everything about this reality programs us to be very tied to the dense 3D physical frequencies, which are the analytical problem-solving, get up and go, make life happen kind of energy. But that's not even the highest frequency. It's our survival frequency. A few of us give ourselves the time we need because of the way the world's been set up to dive into some of these other zones. Some of us are familiar with meditation or prayer. I met people who have what they call psychic dreams or intuitive dreams and get information through dreams. 

Spencer Barnes  42:55

But when I was sitting with her, we did this thing and it was the first time this had ever happened. And I always think, “Was it the mat, the binaural beats, or both?” I don't know, but it works. She took me into this deep meditative space and I was just completely gone into this space. It was the first time I'd ever had a download. I just started hearing music. It was like hearing it on the radio and it was like the code was cracked. I didn't get a lot of other messages from that. I thought I would get messages about healing and health. There were some things we talked about, but that was the most important thing that I got from that. I didn't realize the significance of it then. It was an anomaly and I thought: “That was strange. I was hearing music.” And of course, that started my [inauible]. 

Spencer Barnes  43:43

Shortly after that, I went back to school to study electronic production techniques. As a child, I was a classical violinist. For a while, my minor was music composition, but I ended up switching to film producing and directing and that's what I graduated with. But years later, I know that that's something that I've always wanted to do and now I know what I want to do with it. I've developed a regular connection to that ability to tap into something outside of myself, pull it into myself, and translate it. That's how I make music. I channel it, I guess, is the word. But this brainwave entrainment has brought many other avenues that have been opened up to me. It's also how I began to develop a regular connection to the non-physical world, the intuitive world, where there are all kinds of information and messages that we can tap into. I've had profound things come through. 

Spencer Barnes  44:37

Meeting people like you—I call it scuba diving in the non-physical. You pop through to that quantum field and you begin to understand that we create and determine our reality. Reality shows up around us based on how we think we are and how we see we are. The lens we see the world and are experiencing life through is a direct reflection of where we are energetically. Let's say someone came to you and discovered they have cancer. There was this doctor who used to famously—when they would get a diagnosis—ask them, “Why did you need this cancer?” And they were shocked, like, “I don't want cancer.” But through their journey to healing or their surrender to what is meant to be for them, they always found out profound things and were able to heal things that went way beyond just that physical thing. They always came back and said: “Thank you for saying that at the beginning. It rubbed me the wrong way at first but now I know that through this illness, I gained profound insights and was able to heal things I didn't even know needed to be healed. And my life is richer now, clearer, and brighter.” It takes me to that beautiful statement: The wound is where the light enters in. 

Dr. Jill  46:05

Yes! And you and I have this journey. And for sure, I finally accepted that I'm God's guinea pig. He gives me cancer and Crohn's disease. But what happened is that every one of those was really difficult—I've suffered a lot—but they were the best thing that ever— 

Spencer Barnes  46:22

You transmuted a lot, and now you're helping people!

Dr. Jill  46:24

I would never be the healer that I am without those experiences because, on so many levels—autoimmunity, cancer, environmental toxicity—I have been there. And I did the work around: How do I heal and figure it out at a deep level? I don't always have all the answers but there are a lot of things I could never find in a textbook. They come from this experiential journey of figuring it out to heal myself so that now I can help hundreds or thousands of people with their journeys. I interrupted you on the mat because this is an awesome segue. But go back to— 

Spencer Barnes  46:55

Thanks for bringing it back to that. We could do volumes of different things that we could dive into, which is so fun. I love it when I meet people where it's like this—we're just clicking on so many levels. So the healing mat—I had an experience with that. Years later, I went to this biohacking conference with this incredible speaker who used to be a host on Extra and Access Hollywood, Michelle Sorro. She has a very successful podcast. She asked me to be her first podcast interview two years ago because she met me when I was at QVC doing training for going on their show. We had a similar thing where we connected instantly and discovered we had both been to Tony Robbins' A Date With Destiny and it was transformative for both of us. She took me to this biohacking conference where she was hosting and—I'm going to mess up his name, you might know it—he's the doctor, I think, that brought this biohacking conference. He has a coffee line and a lot of other products. 

Dr. Jill  47:57

Oh yes, Dave Asprey? 

Spencer Barnes  47:59

That's the one, Dave Asprey. There are all these speakers and conferences all weekend—a three-day weekend. But then there's a forum where you can go and find out about all the latest technologies, devices, nutritional things, and health things that are connected to what some might say: The pseudo health field. But it seems to be the emerging thing for us. There's a lot we can do with light, sound, and frequency technologies to heal and transform our lives. One of the things he had there was this mat that was loaded with amethyst, tourmaline, and charcoal. It was quite expensive at the time. It was more than you can get them [for] now. But I really wanted one because I had experienced firsthand what it did for me in just one session. 

Spencer Barnes  48:53

So here's Dr. Jill in Malibu; she's like: “By the way, had you had a chance to lay on the mat?” I was like, “I want to do that, absolutely.” And she told me that this has some different things that are the latest technology. It has ionization so it can eliminate the free radicals of the [inaudible].

Dr. Jill  49:11

Yes. I always tell people it's like if you're walking barefoot on the beach after rain, those are negative ions in the air after some energetic shift in the weather. We feel refreshed if we go out after the rain or when walking on the beach. That's just negative ions in our environment; it naturally happens, but then we can create it on the mat. It's funny because, if you guys wonder, I'm going to show you right down there: My dogs are sleeping on it but I have the mat right down there.

Spencer Barnes  49:33

Oh, they even know. Look at that—they even know!

Dr. Jill  49:36

They do. That's my 16-year-old—he's like 98 in human years—and that white one that you saw there. He is 16 years old and he is hopping around. He sits on that mat every day. He loves it. And they do. You saw it. I didn't plan that. They're like, “We like the mat, mom.” 

Spencer Barnes  49:51

So it's ionizing; it has infrared technology, which does a number of things.

Dr. Jill  49:58

Infrared goes more to a cellular level and helps with detoxification. It has the negative ions, the infrared, and then the big thing is the pulsed electromagnetic frequency—the PEMF. I'll just give a number; my friend had one that cost $20,000 and I was like: “Oh my gosh, this is so unrealistic for most people!” 

Spencer Barnes  50:17

Not accessible, yes.

Dr. Jill  50:18

No. And even for me, that's a lot of money. 

Spencer Barnes  50:21

That's a car for some people.

Dr. Jill  50:22

Yes, totally. I just got the travel one from  HigherDOSE and I was like, “I'm going to take it to LA!” And it was so fun to have because I use it every day. I didn't want to be a day without it. 

Spencer Barnes  50:36

Jill was so gracious—and this was just one of the many gifts that have come from knowing you this short time—and surprised me by sending me out a mat. I was ready to find out when she had a sale so I could buy one. But thank you from the bottom of my heart! You're so generous. I love it. I use it every day. My guy uses it. We've had friends come over. I want to share with you guys about this mat so I'm going to put it on my page with a code so that you can have access from Dr. Jill—another one of her many gifts—to get your very own. Now I do it every day for at least 10 to 20 minutes, if I can, or sometimes longer. Sometimes here, I will take a nap with it on.

Dr. Jill  51:25

I know, me too! 

Spencer Barnes  51:27

Just from meditation, it amplifies the state, the readiness, and the rapidness of aligning healing and being in peak state. When we're in a peak state, we perform better, get more done with less energy, and attract more magical people and situations. I can't even tell you the benefits. 

Dr. Jill  51:51

By the way, I didn't ask you to say this but thank you. You're so kind to share this.  People have heard me talk about it; I love it. I only align with things that I use and I love so there's no commercial here. We just love it! But I really appreciate that, Spencer. I felt like you, the photographer Mike Allen, and the producer poured out your hearts for me that weekend. And I was like, “How in the world can I thank you for the gift that you gave me?” You created magic for me. And like I said, I'm just this little farm girl from Illinois who doesn't belong in LA but you made me feel special; you allowed my light to shine and you captured it in the photographs. It came from a place of “How in the world could I possibly thank you?” It's such a small thank you but I wanted you to know how much it meant to me. So that's where it came from.

Spencer Barnes  52:49

It's a treasure and it's one of the most useful gifts that I didn't know I needed. I knew I wanted it but I didn't know I needed it and would benefit so much. One of the things we were talking about was popping through and going into that quantum realm. We talked about brain wave entrainment and meditation is something I didn't know how to do and it was painful learning. I couldn't even sit still for 30 seconds, so I was trying to do guided meditations. I didn't understand it until it clicked one day and I was like: “Oh, this is about learning how to switch frequency fields.” The reason is that there's different information available in those fields—going from alpha, beta, down to delta, theta, and gamma. There are all these different brain waves. 

Dr. Jill  53:40

And did your sleep get better too?—because that was the biggest thing, the whole objective. I have the Oura ring so that I can track it, and it's like night and day. I would sometimes get like 50–60% of the night's sleep in deep sleep and wake up after five and a half or six hours completely refreshed because I would be in all of this deep refreshing [sleep]. It's amazing. 

Spencer Barnes  54:00

Oh, 100%! Sleeping and getting quality sleep—the amount of time you spend in certain brainwave states will determine how you feel. I remember a period of my life where I couldn't get enough sleep and would wake up exhausted. I had a lot of strange dreams. It was the energy—it was off. And I think even where I was living at that time was near a lot of dirty frequency, and it really affected me. I realized, looking back, that's exactly what it was. So it definitely affects us.

Spencer Barnes  54:38

We now have technology around us all the time with our smart devices, our computers, our phones, our internet, and 5G.  There's all this frequency we're constantly bombarded with that does and will affect us if we don't take time to learn ways to create shields and separation from it and how to change our diet. It helps to create balance and harmony and clear out the effects of some of these negative frequencies that can really begin to take a toll. I used to sleep with my phone right by the bed. I can still be better because sometimes I do have it there but I'm trying to put it way across the room, not by me. 

Dr. Jill  52:49

At the very least, airplane mode or something where you're not getting the Wi-Fi and all of that. Well, oh my gosh, we're going to have to do it again because we have so much to talk about.

Spencer Barnes  52:49

Yes, we scratched the surface.

Dr. Jill  55:31

I know! What kind of thing would you leave? I didn't get a chance to hear a lot. I mean, you really see people and I see that. You're working with some high-profile people and I love that you're this healer in a space where people wouldn't necessarily expect you to be a healer, but you are. We've had lots of comments about “I've been disfigured by disease” or “I have an illness where I… ” The core here has been inner beauty—how do we really shine? Any bits of advice to give someone who's suffering from illness and feels like they're unattractive? What would you say to them?

Spencer Barnes  56:10

I have some key things that I can give people and share because I felt disfigured or damaged in my life. After I had that surgery, I felt that part of me was taken out. There are other things we could talk about but I would say that the trap of perfectionism and idealism based on externalities is a way to rapidly become very unhappy. I noticed too that when you spend hours a day on social media and you're exposed to all of this external [information], it does have an effect on the psyche. So I would say this: What is perfection anyway? There's really no such thing as a perfect this or that because there are so many variations that can be perfectly uniquely expressed. And there is also satisfaction and fulfillment. That's what we're looking for—not perfection, because that's an externalized something, a concept.

Spencer Barnes  57:21

So with people, I ask them questions and I listen. When I'm guided to ask certain questions, it isn't that I need the answer so much… Sometimes I do. I need to listen and see where they're at and what they're seeing because that tunes me into where they are. But when I'm guided to ask certain questions, as I know you have with patients… You're also guiding them to begin to uncover and begin that excavation process of chiseling away all this exterior, the masks, and the layers that really aren't us. By chiseling down to that masterpiece, I think of Michelangelo's David or some of the Greek and Roman sculptural elements that we look back on as the period of art that defined “This is ideal.” In many ways, I think our souls are like that and we have the mission of excavating and bringing out our best magic. 

Spencer Barnes  58:19

Some of the most beautiful people I've ever met have had severe disabilities or limitations and it's physical. But sometimes those limitations activate superpower gifts that blow past any limitation. One of my friends, Amy Purdy, is a double amputee. Right above her knees, she had both her legs amputated. Many powerful lightworkers often have really challenging and even life-threatening illnesses or challenging things in their youth that caused them to grow really rapidly. She was one of those and went from total health to losing her legs in a very short time through a run-in with meningitis. Anyhow, she's now a two-time-winning Paralympic athlete. She lives life with two prosthetic legs. She, through her focus and will to move forward, has helped that industry create all kinds of new prosthetic legs, attachments, and things for people to be able to do sports and have full active lives.

Spencer Barnes  59:26

And she still had some challenges after that with her health. She's come up against unbelievable challenges and against all odds. She spoke with Oprah on her Super Soul Sunday. She's released books and had bestsellers. She was on Dancing with the Stars. That's where I met her, because she was on that show. I was, of course, taking care of Julianne Hough, who was one of the judges. You never know what can come through your greatest challenges. Instead of hating that part of yourself—we all have a shadow side too, and that's sometimes not a physical ailment—if we can lean into the shadow and learn to love that part of ourselves and bring that into the light, that's when it will become the most beautiful.

Dr. Jill  1:00:23

I love, love that. That's where we can wrap up. I always say it's our imperfections that make us more lovable. The pieces, the flaws, the scars—they make us more unique and lovable. But so often, those are the parts that we disown. And when we start to embrace and love those parts of ourselves… So often, the little uniquenesses about our favorite actresses or people on TV or whatever are the things we love about them—the little nuances. Amazing! 

Dr. Jill  1:00:56

Stay tuned, everybody. If Spencer has a moment, we are going to jump on Instagram Live so you can follow us there. I'm going to stop this video feed shortly. But find us. It's @SpencerBarnesLA and mine is @DrJillCarnahan on Instagram. We're going to just say a few words there shortly so we will see you all soon. Spencer, thank you for joining me here today! 

Spencer Barnes  1:01:21

Thank you! Thanks to all of you and thank you for having me. It's been such a pleasure knowing you for this short time and the best is yet to come.

Dr. Jill  1:01:29

Yes!