In this inspiring episode of Resiliency Radio, Dr. Jill Carnahan sits down with Gemma Stone, a transformational coach, psychologist, and TEDx speaker, to explore how we can turn pain, trauma, and adversity into lasting empowerment. 🌿

Together, they discuss the journey from clinician to coach, diving deep into the layers of the mind — conscious, subconscious, and unconscious — and how understanding these layers can unlock resilience, healing, and personal transformation.

Discover how to:
💎 Transform pain into pearls of wisdom.
💎 Build resilience through life’s toughest challenges.
💎 Reconnect with your authentic self and rewrite your story.
💎 Embrace uncertainty as a pathway to personal growth.

Key Topics You'll Discover with Gemma Stone

① The Journey from Clinician to Coach: Gemma shares her transition from working within the confines of psychology to embracing a broader coaching role. This shift allowed her to engage in deeper, more transformative work beyond traditional boundaries.

② Understanding the Layers of the Mind: The conversation delves into the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind. Gemma explains how these layers influence behavior and how understanding them can help overcome feelings of being stuck.

③ Building Resilience: A significant theme is the importance of resilience. Gemma emphasizes that resilience is built through life's challenges and can be a source of personal power. She encourages listeners to reflect on past experiences to mine wisdom and strength.

④ Transforming Pain into Pearls: Gemma introduces the metaphor of transforming life's grit into pearls, highlighting the potential to create lasting beauty and impact from painful experiences. This transformation is about choosing to make something meaningful from adversity.

⑤ Identity and Personal Growth: The discussion touches on the fluidity of identity and the power of personal evolution. Gemma encourages listeners to question learned behaviors and societal roles, advocating for a life aligned with one's true essence.

⑥ Dealing with Uncertainty: Dr. Jell and Gemma discuss the human desire for certainty and control. They explore how embracing uncertainty can lead to personal growth and resilience.

What You’ll Take Away from Gemma Stone

📌 Embrace the journey of personal transformation by understanding and working with the different layers of the mind.
📌 Build resilience by reflecting on past challenges and using them as a source of strength.
📌 Transform pain into power by choosing to create something meaningful from adversity.
📌 Question societal roles and learned behaviors to live a life true to your essence.
📌 Accept uncertainty as a natural part of life and an opportunity for growth.

🔑 CONCLUSION: This episode is a heartfelt exploration of how we can transform life's challenges into opportunities for growth and empowerment. Gemma Stone's insights offer a roadmap for listeners seeking to harness their inner strength and live a life of purpose and resilience.

Gemma Stone

Gemma Stone is a psychology pro, perpetual wonderer, and recovering overachiever. For more than 20 years, she’s been obsessed with the messy, magical intersection of science and soul. She's not into surface-level fixes (band-aids bore her). Instead, she’s here for the deep, lasting transformation that happens when we align our inner world with the outer life we’re brave enough to create. Her work has taken her from clinical psychology offices to international retreats, from standing on TEDx stages to sitting cross-legged in living rooms with entrepreneurs in tears over the lives they’ve built but don’t actually love. She’s helped people unhook from trauma loops, rewire limiting beliefs, evolve their identity and reclaim their power.

🌐 Gemma Stone's Links
https://gemmastone.com
https://www.facebook.com/GemmaStone3
https://www.instagram.com/gemma_stone/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/gemma-stone/

Dr. Jill Carnahan, MD – Leading Functional Medicine Doctor

Dr. Jill Carnahan, MD, ABIHM, ABoIM, IFMCP is internationally recognized as one of the most respected leaders in functional and integrative medicine. She is dually board-certified in Family Medicine and Integrative Holistic Medicine, and the founder and medical director of Flatiron Functional Medicine in Louisville, Colorado.

Widely known as a pioneer in environmental toxicity, mold-related illness, autoimmune disease, and resilience medicine, Dr. Carnahan combines cutting-edge science with compassionate, root-cause care. Her clinical approach integrates precision genomics, epigenetics, microbiome research, peptide therapy, and lifestyle interventions to transform health outcomes for patients worldwide.

She is the author of the best-selling memoir Unexpected, which weaves her personal journey through cancer, Crohn’s disease, and mold-related illness with her professional expertise. Dr. Carnahan is also the executive producer of the award-winning documentary Doctor/Patient and the host of the popular podcast Resiliency Radio, which reaches over 500,000 global subscribers.

As an international keynote speaker, Dr. Carnahan has been featured at leading medical conferences including A4M, IFM, EPIC, and IPM Congress, and her work is frequently highlighted in major media outlets such as NBC, CBS, Fox News, Forbes, Parade, People, and MindBodyGreen.

With a reputation as both a scientist and a healer, Dr. Jill Carnahan is regarded as one of the top functional medicine doctors in the world, offering a unique blend of evidence-based research, innovation, and deeply personalized care.

The Podcast with Gemma Stone

The Video with Gemma Stone

The Transcript – Overview

Transformational Psychology and Identity Evolution

The core message is that personal identities are constructed and can be consciously reshaped to create more authentic, fulfilling lives.

• Gemma Stone emphasized that identities are layered constructs shaped by early experiences and social conditioning, which can be deconstructed and rebuilt to align with one’s true self (14:00)
  • She described three identity layers: the core soul essence, social conditioning, and the constructed self made of learned roles and stories.
  • These constructed identities, such as “overfunctioner” or “people pleaser,” often serve survival but limit authentic living as adults.
  • She invites clients to question if their identities are inherited or chosen, encouraging a shift toward self-rooted, purposeful living.
  • This approach helps people redefine themselves beyond limiting roles, improving life satisfaction and reducing defensive behaviors.
• Dr. Jill shared her experience transitioning from a guarded, self-reliant identity to embracing vulnerability and feminine energy, illustrating this identity evolution in practice (18:29)
  • She recognized how old beliefs blocked attracting the relationships she desired.
  • This shift required conscious work to let go of control and ask for help, showing that identity is flexible and changeable.
  • Gemma reinforced this by explaining how conscious intention combined with subconscious and unconscious work enables lasting shifts.
  • Both emphasized the importance of evolving identity to overcome midlife crises and redefine personal purpose.

Mind Levels and Methods for Deep Change

Lasting change requires aligning the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind through targeted psychological and somatic techniques.

• Gemma outlined the three levels of the mind—conscious (5-10%), subconscious (80-90%), and unconscious—and their role in behavior and beliefs (19:34)
  • The conscious mind manages rational goals and planning, suited for techniques like journaling, CBT, and narrative therapy.
  • The subconscious stores early life maps and beliefs, often driving automatic reactions; methods like hypnotherapy, NLP, and inner child work address this level.
  • The unconscious holds deep, shadowy influences including multi-generational patterns; family constellation, dream analysis, and somatic therapies help access this.
  • Gemma stressed that without aligning these layers, conscious efforts often fail because deeper patterns oppose change.
• Gemma illustrated this with a client case who carried guilt from her grandmother’s trauma, which blocked her ability to pursue her passion until she physically visited a meaningful site and processed the emotions (24:00)
  • This approach untangles unconscious burdens to free clients from inherited limitations.
  • Techniques like integrative body psychotherapy and EMDR address trauma stored in the body beyond conscious awareness.
  • The client’s breakthrough demonstrated how physical and emotional engagement enables healing beyond talk therapy.
  • Gemma’s method integrates multiple levels for a holistic transformation.

Resilience as Growth Through Hardship

Resilience means not just surviving difficulty but transforming pain into lasting strength and abundance.

• Gemma shared a metaphor of baroque pearls formed from oyster irritation to explain how suffering can create unique, valuable growth (29:37)
  • She described moving from victimhood to empowerment by reframing pain as a creative force, “happening for me instead of to me.”
  • This shift allows people to transform trauma into purpose and legacy rather than being stuck in suffering.
  • The irregular shape of baroque pearls symbolizes the unique and rare nature of each person’s resilience.
  • This philosophy supports sustainable healing and deep personal meaning.
• Dr. Jill connected this to real-life examples of enduring hardship and the exponential increase of stress and chaos in modern life (28:28)
  • She highlighted how embracing uncertainty and suffering is necessary for growth, as avoidance causes more pain.
  • Gemma agreed, emphasizing the importance of feeling emotions fully, regulating the nervous system, and self-care as part of resilience.
  • Resilience includes becoming wiser, more loving, and more abundant through challenges, not just surviving them.
  • This mindset prepares individuals to handle unpredictable future hardships with confidence.

Dealing with Uncertainty and Building Resilience

Accepting life’s inherent uncertainty and strengthening internal resilience are key to navigating modern stress and chaos.

• Gemma explained that uncertainty is a natural and precious aspect of life that invites presence and love rather than fear (34:06)
  • She used a client’s sudden brain tumor diagnosis to illustrate how unexpected events reveal the value of living fully now.
  • The way people filter uncertainty depends on past trauma and nervous system state, which can distort perception toward danger.
  • Growing resilience involves consciously revisiting past hardships and recognizing survival as proof of inner strength.
  • This awareness empowers people to face future unknowns without paralysis or avoidance.
• Gemma defined resilience through a Hawaiian elder’s story of volcanic destruction creating six new watering holes from loss of two (38:49)
  • Resilience is not just surviving but becoming stronger, wiser, more loving, and more abundant after hardship.
  • It requires healthy processing of emotions, nervous system regulation, and self-care practices.
  • This broader view encourages proactive growth rather than mere endurance.
  • It reframes adversity as a source of expansion and increased capacity for life.

Daily Practices for Sustained Transformation

Simple, flexible daily habits focused on body, mind, and soul support ongoing resilience and aligned living.

• Gemma shared her “TLTL Daily 3” practice: one action daily for body, mind, and soul to nurture holistic well-being (40:02)
  • Body care varies from Pilates to walking in nature, chosen based on what feels supportive rather than rigid routines.
  • Mind care includes meditation, journaling, prayer, or identity expansion work to clarify and evolve mental patterns.
  • Soul care involves creative expression, generosity, or meaningful connection with loved ones for emotional nourishment.
  • This flexible approach honors present needs and promotes self-kindness, contrasting with past high-pressure habits.
• Dr. Jill reflected on her past high-performance routine and how shifting toward kindness and listening to her inner child improved healing and balance (42:28)
  • She described a pivotal moment recognizing the need to take a sick day, breaking old patterns of relentless self-expectation.
  • The question “What does she need from me today?” became a healing mantra reinforcing self-compassion.
  • This mindset shift shows how small daily acts can reinforce identity evolution and resilience.
  • Both encourage listeners to honor their inner needs as part of deep transformation.

Audience Engagement and Reach

The podcast’s growing audience supports spreading transformational messages to a wide community.

• Dr. Jill announced nearly 700,000 YouTube subscribers, reflecting strong engagement and interest in integrative healing topics (45:42)
  • She encouraged listeners to subscribe and leave reviews to help reach more people and attract quality guests.
  • The wide reach supports the mission of sharing deep, transformational psychology and resilience strategies.
  • This engagement creates a platform for ongoing education and community support around healing and personal growth.
  • It also validates the market demand for authentic, soul-centered wellness content.

Transcript

00:00
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Hey everybody. Welcome to Resiliency Radio, your go to podcast for the most cutting edge insights integrative and functional medicine. I'm your host, Dr. Jill, and with each episode we dive into the heart of healing and personal transformation. Join me as I interview medical experts, thought leaders and renowned inspirational characters of all types. Today is no different. You are in for such a treat with Gemma Stone and I will introduce her in just a second. We're talking about how the way you think may be keeping you back, maybe holding you back. We're going to talk about thought patterns and transformational psychology and everything in between for inspiration and resilience. So stay tuned. Before I do, I always want to mention if you haven't yet got my book Unexpected right here. 

00:44
Dr. Jill Carnahan
You can find that on my website, jillcarnahan.com if you order on my website, which is the retail store Dr. Jill health.com you will get a signed copy personal from me again, Dr. Jill health.com for a signed copy of my book by me. You can even put a dedication or note in there if you want someone special and I will personally get that order. I'll sign it for you and we'll ship it off in the mail. Also at Dr. Jill health.com you can find all of my Dr. Jill Beauty line. And I've mentioned this before and one in particular I wanted to share today because it's hot off the press and so popular. This is the rejuvenating body cream with retinol. 

01:23
Dr. Jill Carnahan
So if you have spots on your skin, you have age spots, you have cellulite, you have all of these things on the rest of body, your neck, your arms, your legs. This is transformational. I use it every day after the shower and I brought along just to show you my dry brush. This is a copper center dry brush that I use and I'll do this retinol cream after drying myself off after the shower and then I will do the dry brushing before the shower. And I find this keeps the skin glowing healthy. You get rid of all that dead skin debris. There's no stretch marks or cellulite. It's just really powerful. So be sure and get@doctor Jill health.com you can check that out. People are really loving this and it's now back in stock. 

02:10
Dr. Jill Carnahan
If you want to get your own bottle, Dr. Jill health.com check it out. Okay, let me introduce our guest. Without further ado, Gemma Stone is a psychology pro, perpetual wonder and recovering overachiever. More than 20 years. She's been for more than 20 years she's been obsessed with the messy, magical intersection of science and soul. She's not into surface level fixes. Band aids bore her. Instead, she's here for the deep, lasting transformation that happens when we align with our inner world and we align the inner and the outer world and we're brave enough to create. Her work has taken her from clinical psychology office to international retreats, from standing on a TEDx stage to sitting cross legged in living rooms with entrepreneurs and tears over the lives they built but don't actually love. 

02:55
Dr. Jill Carnahan
You are going to love this interview with Gemma Stone, so let's take it away. Gemma, it is so awesome to have you here and to have you on the podcast. We had a little intro call and it was so full of great energy. I love what you're doing in the world and I'm so excited to introduce you to my listeners and other physicians and everybody in the world that needs to hear your message. I always love to start with story because I feel like that so much frames how we came into the world, what our soul's journey is. And you have a really interesting story going from clinician to coach and everything in between. Tell us a little bit about your journey to where you're at right now. 

03:32
Gemma Stone
Yes. Well, thank you so much for having me. I really enjoyed our conversation. I love the dance of depth that we get to have when like when we're having these conversations and chatting, but also because of the history that we've sort of lived through and what we've done with that and turned it into a sense of purpose. So my story is similar to yours in the sense that I started life, I say like on hard mode. I started with some early childhood traumas that left me really struggling a little bit. For me was more with my mental health over my physical health. There was lots of struggles and traumas and abuse and all kinds of things that I navigated when I was really little. And as a result of that I ended up developing these defense mechanisms. 

04:14
Gemma Stone
And some of them were mental health challenges like depression, anxiety, panic attacks, eating disorders, addictions, all the things to try to cope with the hard stuff, but also really a deep curiosity for the human experience. And I call it life getting lifey. Like there are things that we live through and depending on how we navigate those things, we can either be mired in suffering and struggle or we can grow through them and rise up through them and become stronger than were before. So of course that put me on the path of psychology, trying to figure out my own Stuff, trying to figure out my own family dynamics, trying to bring healing as much as possible to the system that I came from. And then soon started to realize like, oh wow, there's a lot of purpose in this for me. 

05:02
Gemma Stone
And as I was growing and healing through my own struggles, much like you, I started to have this real deep empathy for what it's like when we're stuck in those dark places. And I wanted to bring more of that to the world. So I ended up jumping through all the hoops, doing all the things to be a clinical psychologist. And then very long, meandering story short, it's about a 15 year journey. I realized I'd sort of reached the edge of what I was able to bring when I was working in the field of psychology. And I actually wanted to bring it further and do deeper work and do work that was outside of the bounds of my license. So I decided to release that and do some more coaching work. 

05:42
Gemma Stone
We do transformational travel retreats and really trying to spread this message of how do we bring healing to our inner world so that we can create. Create the outer world that we want to experience. How do we process and release the fears that are maybe keeping us stuck and causing us to struggle and move into this place of love for ourselves, for other people, for life itself. 

06:07
Dr. Jill Carnahan
I love that and I love behind you to love this life. I have a feeling there's a story there and I want to go deep into love versus fear. But do you want to tell us why the to love this life? Is there a story there behind you? 

06:20
Gemma Stone
Yes. Love this life. For me, it feels like it's everything. It's like the. The mission, the mantra, the journey. Sometimes I think I arrive at the destination and then. And then have this moment of realizing that I didn't quite get there. And I'm going to keep working at it. But really it was about a book that I read. It was a memoir and it was called To Love this Life. I can't even find it anymore. It was this old dusty book that was like hidden in the corner somewh. And as I was reading it, I was remembering the story of a woman. I'm blanking on her name right now, but you're probably going to know it. And she was deaf and she was blind. 

06:58
Gemma Stone
And she ended up overcoming all these extraordinary obstacles to be able to create a life where she was spreading her message and she was really encouraging people to go after their craft and she was having this incredible contribution to the world. Even though the first 25 years of her life were just literally in silence and darkness and frustration and agitation. And I was thinking to myself, like, wow, if she can do that, if she can overcome those struggles and those challenges, then maybe I can too. So it became a mantra for me to love this life. And for me, it's really about. I call it like, love cubed. Like, how can I bring love to myself? 

07:36
Gemma Stone
And I really went through this whole experience of not liking myself very much, all the way into just the sweet spot of like, true self love and then also loving others. Because sometimes when we've gone through traumas, these fears and these anxieties and these projections, we shoot out into our relationships with other people and we kind of replay these really painful patterns. So part of to love this life is also how do we bring more love into our relationships, into our communities? And then the finally is this idea of, like, when we do all that, we are adding more love to life. So it's this beautiful reciprocity of being love, giving love, receiving love, and it just keeps swirling around and around. 

08:14
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Oh, that is. I love that I. Was that Helen Keller. Was that. 

08:18
Gemma Stone
Yes, thank you. 

08:19
Dr. Jill Carnahan
I knew it because. Oh, my gosh. No, totally. You know, so neat. I love that you say that because I remember when I was a very young child, my dad would read to us in the living room after church on Sundays, and he would read these stories of these martyrs and these great people like Helen Keller and the Diary of Anne Frank. And I remember being so inspired from very young, being like, oh, my goodness, people go through really hard things and they're like. I remember being just mesmerized. And in my first, I loved to read. In fact, before I was a physician, I thought I was going to be a librarian because I love books so much. And I just remember the stories of people always from 5 years old on were like, magnetic to me because I was like, wow. 

09:01
Dr. Jill Carnahan
If someone could tell a story about how they, you know, averted death or were blind or all these things, then that inspires the normal person to be like, oh, I can do it too. And I think I hear you saying that. And I have a sense that as you walk in the world and do these retreats and do this work and this coaching, you're doing that not only with your own life, like, saying, I've gone through this, you can too, but you're creating these transformative stories for people. It sounds like at the core. And I, even though I'm a physician, I feel like at the core, I do the same thing so often. I'm listening to their story, and here's where we're going to get into this next thing. People are telling themselves things that maybe aren't true. Right. 

09:35
Dr. Jill Carnahan
I want to get into that. Like, what are common stories that you hear people telling them that are keeping them stuck in a certain place? Like, I'm a certain role in the family, or I always have to show up this way. But having said that, I find that part of my healing with patients is sitting there listening to them very carefully tell their story and then trying to retell it back to them so that they can, from another perspective, hear their story in a way that reflects empowerment and validation. Because I find so often in that retelling of that story, it's the first time a doctor has actually said, this is why I think you're suffering from this symptom. And this is where we can go. I'm, like, giving them a map or a road out of that suffering. 

10:15
Dr. Jill Carnahan
So there's a lot to unpack there. But maybe let's start with the stories people tell. And it starts with you and I. Right. Like, we both had those stories growing up. Same thing of my childhood. What are some of the common things you hear your clients saying that you. You start to help them identify and shift? Yeah. 

10:31
Gemma Stone
Well, thank you, first of all, for reminding me of Helen Keller's name. 

10:34
Dr. Jill Carnahan
And. 

10:34
Gemma Stone
And this, the piece I wanted to, like, highlight that you just shared there, that I think is really beautiful and wise and potent is this idea of the stories that we tell and how for you and I, like, for me, it was really Helen Keller, and then for you, it was Anne Frank and Helen Keller. Like, at some point in our life, were introduced to stories of resilience. We were introduced to stories of how life can be difficult, and it can be painful and it can be hard, and we can tell that story. We can write a book, and then that book's going to inspire others. And so I just love this idea because there's this beautiful sense that both Helen and Ann wrote their stories and shared them. And I see you doing that, too. 

11:13
Gemma Stone
I see you like in your movie, the Doctor Patient movie. Like, you wrote your story, and now other people can look at your story just like you looked at Ann's story. And I think that's one of the most important things. So to answer your question, around recognizing that we get to be the narrators of the story, that there are experiences that we have, and how we make sense of the story so often determines how the story unfolds, it's not actually what happened, it's how do we make sense of it, how do we internalize the. Sometimes it's the identities or the role. So like you said, sometimes the role is. I know the role that I carried for a long time was this. One of it's all on my shoulders. I have to hold it all together. 

11:51
Gemma Stone
And if I don't hold it all together, the world is going to fall apart and be devastated and the people I love may not survive. And so that for me, that story really served me when I was little because it helped us to like, you know, get through all the hard things. But as I grew up, I was the over functioner and the people pleaser and the person who looked like they had it all together on the outside and was secretly falling apart in the inside. And so I work with a lot of people that carry that story too or I work with stories around really about like fear of something, fear of success, fear of a failure, fear of scarcity, sometimes even fear of abundance, fear of vulnerability. There's a lot of these stories that we carry. Fear of not being good enough. 

12:29
Gemma Stone
And then when we craft a life based on this fear, usually what we end up creating doesn't feel authentic, it feels defensive. And then we have to deal with the side effects of building a life on the defensive rather than building a life that's really a true expression of our purpose. And like our soul is the way I like to describe it, like the uniqueness of us. 

12:52
Dr. Jill Carnahan
So good. And as you say that, I can just imagine someone out there listening. You know, I have a lot of women my age, I have a lot of successful entrepreneurs, physicians that listen, let's just for a moment talk to the 45, 50 year old woman who has carried the family load, done, you know, the work and they're out there working, they're out there making a difference and they're doing it, but they're feeling kind of. What you alluded to is that overwhelm of keeping all of the balls juggling and none of them dropping again. I know this well. How do you begin to talk to her about letting down her guard, asking for help and maybe even refining or redefining who is she in this world? 

13:32
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Because so often we take on these roles that others have defined for us and all of a sudden we're 45, 50, 55. It's why so many people go through midlife crisis and divorce because like who am I underneath all this? And is this really me? Am I just taking on the roles because at least from when I grew up, women have had this expectation in society of how they should appear and should be. Do you want to talk to that person out there right now? Just a little bit. 

13:58
Gemma Stone
This is some of my favorite work because I think that we have the power to evolve our identity. So I think at our core essence. I talked about the soul. I'm going to show you this cute little poster note that I have here. I think at our core, we have this essence that is uniquely us. We have this soul that wants to be expressed in the world. And the closer we live to it, the more we feel aliveness, the more we feel on purpose, the more we feel like we sort of have the energy to live the life that we desire to live. And then when we're in that kind of like soulful, essential place, it kind of feels like magic happens, like life gets easier instead of harder. And then in the second layer, here we go, we all go through conditioning. 

14:37
Gemma Stone
Like we all have experiences. We, you and I, we talked about kind of like some of the childhood traumas that we go through, but also we have social and cultural conditioning. We have different relationship dynamics that we've experienced. There have been different people in our life that has told us this is what love is, or this is what money is, or this is who you are, this is your responsibility. And we have all these layers that kind of like go over top of that precious little heart. And then as a result of those experiences here we develop this third layer which I call the constructed self. Now these are our identities, but they're not really truly who we are. They're just identities that we've picked up at some point in our life. I'm the strong one, I'm the brave one. 

15:16
Gemma Stone
I'm the one who holds it all together. I'm the over functioner, I'm the people pleaser. I self sacrifice like all of the different stories that we carry and then these form our identity. And I like to invite people to look at all of those pieces of who you say you are and who you think you are were all crafted, they were all constructed at some point. And because they were crafted, they can also, they were constructed, they can also be destructed. Like we can take those apart. It's not who we are. And so when I hear people say, well, I, I can't do this because I am just this way, I like to invite like, are you actually. Or, or is that just what you learned? Is that what you had to do to survive? Is that what you did? 

15:56
Gemma Stone
To source, safety, love and belonging. And maybe there's another way where we can get you closer to that heart so that you feel rooted in yourself and the life that like is the one that is just going to light you up and create the sense of purpose like the one that you've created for yourself and the one you help your clients create too. 

16:14
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Guys, just a quick reminder and we'll be right back to the show. If you have not yet taken a look at the documentary, you can find it free now online streaming with commercials on YouTube and Tubi. If you're an Amazon prime member, you can find it on Amazon prime streaming. And you can also just find it on the Vimeo site, which is doctor Patient movie dot com. If you're not sure if you want to watch it, this is the COVID here. But if you're not sure that you want to watch the whole movie, just go to doctor patientmovie.com and watch the trailer. Let me know what you think. And like I said, you can get the entire film for free with commercials@doctor patient movie.com. I hope you'll check it out and I look forward to hearing your comments about the show later. 

16:57
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Okay, now back to our episode. I love that and I love simple like that little sticky. I mean, I could put that right up my mirror in my bathroom, be like, oh wait, where am I? Where's that little heart? You know, one thing I'll just share for, because I'm sure someone can relate this out there, is I remember when I was maybe five or six and had a very traumatic kind of abusive experience. And my little five year old self was like, Jill, you will never ever let someone control you like this and hurt you, right? And I still remember my little self promising that I will never ever let anyone take that control. And then in a good way, it allowed me to be strong, go to medical school, create a career for myself and an income that supports me. 

17:38
Dr. Jill Carnahan
And all those things were great to a certain point. And then when I realized after my divorce eight years ago, I like, I need to look at myself and how do I show up in the world and how do I really, like you said in the beginning, I want to be loved first. So how do I become love to the world? But I also want to invite love in, whether it's friends and family or someday a partner, right? And I had to do the work around that because what I realized is that projection of one of those circles around my little heart was that I've got it all together. I can take care of myself. I don't need your finances. And this was to men especially. So I'd be like. 

18:11
Dr. Jill Carnahan
But that energy would not allow a very masculine kind of man that I wanted to attract to come in. Because I was like, I've got it all handled right. And I'm sure, again, I'm saying this just because I'm sure there's a lot of women out there who can relate to this. And I had to deconstruct that and I had to embrace my feminine self. I had to start to learn to ask for help. I had to start to really re. Change that or change that identity. So what I love that you, that I'm hearing you say is that identity so much matters and we think it's fixed and it's not. And really with any habit, which. These are just habits, right? Like how we show up in the world. How would you have someone start to. 

18:46
Dr. Jill Carnahan
You, you mentioned like identifying what the blocks are. But if you're talking to someone, you're talking to me maybe eight years ago. What would you tell me as far as how do I change that way I show up in the world that is actually blocking the thing I want most, which is love. 

18:59
Gemma Stone
Oh, such a beautiful question. And I feel like so many people can relate to the story that you shared. I was like, oh, me too. My little self made that same story. Yeah, yeah. So the work that I do, I really like to go in the depths. There are places where, I mean, all of you, like, you and all of your listeners are smart, sophisticated people. And if like taking three deep breaths and meditating for 10 minutes would work, we would all be like healed and glowing by now. But the complexity of human psychology is that we have three levels to the mind. So we have the conscious, subconscious and unconscious. Now the unconscious is things that are sort of like really in the dark. We don't know they're there, but they influence us in certain ways. 

19:37
Gemma Stone
So these are things like very early childhood experiences. These are like experiences in utero sometimes these are multi generational patterns that get passed down and we unconsciously are like, just like you, grandma, me too. Just like, there wasn't enough for you, grandpa, me too. And then we carry that pattern forward. So looking at the unconscious is really interesting, especially if we're feeling stuck and like nothing is working. The second layer of the mind that I like to work with is the subconscious part of the mind. And so this is about 80 to 90% of the mind and this is the part that really runs the show I liked. This is like the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, behaviors, all about a particular thing. So let's talk. Let's talk about love. 

20:13
Gemma Stone
For example, when we are between the ages of 0 to 5, we are always in our subconscious mind. This is why children learn so quickly. They're just absorbing and retraining and recalling and making assumptions and creating stories and having understandings. And they form all of these cognitive maps. So we'll have a map in the mind, in the subconscious part of the mind of this is what love is. This is how I secure love. This is how I stay safe. Men have to stay out and like, I'm not going to receive anything because it's not safe. And then what ends up happening is that after the age of five, we develop a part of the mind called the critical area. And it sort of locks in those maps and keeps them stuck there unless we consciously change them like you did. 

20:50
Gemma Stone
And then we have the third level of the mind, the conscious level of the mind, so about 5 to 10%. And the way the analogy I like for this is the conscious mind is like the rider, and then the subconscious mind is like the elephant. If the rider is like, I want to have a healthy relationship with a masculine man who feels comfortable protecting and providing, but the subconscious is like, no, danger alert. The elephant is going to go one way and the rider is going to be like yanking on the reins, trying to get them to go the other way. And it creates this battle. So for people that are like, why can't I change this? I read all the listicles that told me what to do, and it's still not changing. 

21:23
Gemma Stone
It can because the conscious mind wants to go one way, but the subconscious and the unconscious want to go another way. So the invitation I would have for people is if you've done all the conscious work and you've, you know, you've made the plan and you understand logically why this might be a healthy relationship for you. And I would go deeper. I would say let's look at the subconscious. Let's go back to that little girl who made that decision and let's give her some extra resource so that she feels like she can make a different conclusion. And let's create those new cognitive maps in the mind so that you know that safety, love and belonging can come from this type of relationship. And then beyond that, as we change the subconscious and the unconscious, I call it becoming a mental match. 

22:02
Gemma Stone
Like we become a mental match for the life that we love when the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious are all aligned and working in the same direction. 

22:12
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Oh, you have such a great way of. No wonder you're such a great coach because it's just so clear when you hear you say it. Right. A little harder when we do the work. But it is like, so it's. It actually seems pretty easy. What I wonder about is, so say someone has a goal. What is the best way? Like, is this journaling? Is it doing work? You. I mean, there's parts work, there's. What are some of the forms of the actual work? I know you've had experience in all the somatic therapies, the cognitive behavior, all that. What give us just like a little outline on maybe a. A buffet of what people could pick and choose either things on their own or maybe work with someone like you of how they could do the work. 

22:49
Gemma Stone
Oh, so many good questions. Okay, so conscious level of the mind is very thinking, rational, logical. So that's the level of the mind that works really well. If you have goals, you're making lists, you're doing vision boards, you're doing some journaling, you're trying to kind of like, get more clear consciously. So things like cognitive behavioral therapy is very good for the conscious level of the mind. Even narrative therapy can be really helpful if you're wanting to do that work. Going a little bit deeper, I would say different techniques, like inner child healing is really helpful. Transformational or shamanic breath work can be really helpful. Different somatic processing experiences. So I'm personally trained integrative body psychotherapy. The body often holds the memories that the mind doesn't hold. 

23:30
Gemma Stone
So we can work with a body when we do things like integrative body psychotherapy, somatic experiencing, emdr, art, Those are helpful for processing traumas at that level. I do a particular process that's called reparenting. So using a lot of hypnosis, hypnotherapy, neuro, linguistic programming, all really good at the subconscious level. And then the unconscious, this is a little bit more mysterious and shadowy. So doing like dream analysis can be really helpful at the unconscious level. Sometimes. What can be really helpful is understanding our family system. So family constellation work is really helpful at the unconscious level. I was working with a client earlier today, and she talked about understanding that she was carrying a story. Oh, I feel this. I feel this for her. She was carrying a story from her grandmother who was working. 

24:18
Gemma Stone
And it was very rare to be working in that time. And when her grandmother was working, she wasn't watching the Children. And one of the children ran away and fell into the river and died, drowned and died and carried this, like, shame and guilt for so long. And this was interrupting my client's ability to be able to do the work in the world that she wanted, because she had this overwhelming, paralyzing guilt and fear that something bad was going to happen to our children if she kept pursuing her passion. So she just. She couldn't do it. She would always sabotage. And so we talked about this, and eventually, as we untangled it, I'm like, invited her to go. Like, we did a lot of work and we did consolation, all the things, but eventually I'm like, go to the river. 

24:56
Gemma Stone
Like, go to the actual river. And so she went to the river where her. Her grandmother was, and she just sat by the river and she felt. And she just was overcome with this emotion that didn't make any sense because it didn't happen to her. 

25:09
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Right. 

25:09
Gemma Stone
But she was carrying the energy of it. And so she had. She went to the river and she grieved and she released and she healed and. And then she moved on and feeling really free to pursue her work in the world. So the unconscious has been more mysterious, but there is lots of different things that we can do to create alignment there as well. 

25:24
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Oh, wow. I think I've tried almost everything you mentioned. I love to explore in those ways. I really love that. I love to give people like the suggestions you mentioned. I remember, you know, Woolner's book on it didn't start with you or obviously the Schwartz, the family. Those things have been really powerful in my life. And it was like realizing very similar to what you just said is I had multiple grandmothers on both sides that were carrying the household all the work. They didn't ask for help. They took the burden of everything. In one particular, my grandmother's grandmother, who lost her husband at 25, had five children and went to work for a widower. So she was like the sole provider for these five children from 25 on. 

26:03
Dr. Jill Carnahan
And there was all kinds of pieces of that work ethic and not letting anyone else in and feeling the weight of it all. But then also, I don't know for sure, but I suspect in that situation in the early 1900s that it probably wasn't very fair and there was maybe some abusive behaviors for that situation. I don't know for sure, but there was this intuition on me that was. And I won't go into all my stories, but I've really thought about that and that grandmother and how now we know we used to think about this as, could this be real genetic? And medically, we know now that with epigenetics, this is actually science based, that we transpose the same kinds of emotions, the same adrenal health. 

26:42
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Like, these things can actually transgenerational be tracked, which is crazy, because even maybe 20 years ago, we thought, okay, this probably happens. Well, now we have the science to back up what we know about the consciousness. And it's fascinating to me because I think a lot of people carry those stories and don't even know it. 

26:57
Gemma Stone
Yeah, it's. It's so true. And then once we tap into them. This is a beautiful thing about family constellation work is the field changes. And one of the things that I actually trained with Mark and one of the things that he taught me was that in the family system, most often it's the one who has the potential to transform the field that gets the burden of the stories. 

27:18
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Yeah. 

27:19
Gemma Stone
That carries the patterns. And so the work that we do as we heal ourselves, we also ripple healing backwards in time and forwards in time so the next generation doesn't have to carry it as well. So when we're talking about this, like, you know, claiming the story, I think there's something really beautiful. I feel this for myself. Like, I love that I got to be the one who broke the patterns. I love that I got to be the one that had the privilege. And also, you know, the challenge of changing the story in our family system and of passing down something that is so much healthier and so much more grounded in love than what was passed down to me. 

27:56
Gemma Stone
And I think that's kind of as we become the change makers of the world, as we decide to become the leaders of our lives or our families or our relationships. Like, that's a beautiful privilege to be the one who got to tell that story differently. 

28:08
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Yeah. Gosh, again, that's amazing that you worked with him, because all I've done is read his book. But it was such a profound impact on me. I'm very grateful for that work. And same thing I've like, oh, this is why I'm the one who feels the burden of some. Because I think in my family system, that's a piece of the puzzle as well. But then like you said, you can shift it and be like, oh, who am I to be so lucky? And so, like, the divine thought I was so brave. I'm not. Right. But I'm like, who am I to be able to carry this burden? Which kind of goes into something else. I want to talk about right now, I think more than ever, it's just like I said, we. 

28:39
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Before we got on, we said the pace and the acceleration of knowledge of where everything we're doing is just, like, escalating. And I think we're starting to realize the stress of that on our bodies. And we're not meant to go in that sense of urgency, but in that framework, there is a lot of suffering and a lot of chaos, and it's exponentially increasing. I've been saying the quotient of chaos is exponentially increasing. How do you talk to someone about suffering? Because this is inevitable. We don't like it. We do everything in the world to avoid it. And yet I find in the catalyst of suffering is the most beautiful things. Like, I hate it. I don't ever want it. But when I look back, I'm like, those are the times, number one, I was closest to God. 

29:21
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Divine for me what that looks like for sure. And number two, those are the times where I can look back at my life, and it absolutely changed my DNA. So talk to the listeners about suffering, because I know a lot of you out there in the midst of it, and how can we transform suffering? 

29:37
Gemma Stone
I, like, my eyes are watering right now, Dr. Jill, because I was thinking about you and your story, and I had to go through my memory box and dig out this little blue box because I'm like, oh, you and your journey make me think about this little blue box. And this was something that my mother gave me when my grandmother died. She hands me this box and. And gives me this most beautiful strand of pearls. Like, super special pearls. They're really interesting pearls. I'll tell you about them in a minute. But the thing that I think is, to answer your question, that is really potent and to think about pearls and how precious they are, but also where they come from. 

30:15
Gemma Stone
Like, pearls come from an oyster that either had, like, a parasite or a little piece of shell stuck in it, and it was causing pain and irritation and hurt. And. And the oyster was, like, wiggling around and trying to get it out, and it couldn't. It was like it was stuck with this pain. And so the only thing that it knew how to do, like, is this. Is. It releases this. This liquid called. I think it's called necker. And it coats it and it coats it and it coats it. And over time, that thing that was, like, so painful for the oyster becomes this precious pearl that gets left over. And the pearl is. The oyster is long gone. 

30:49
Gemma Stone
And now we have these beautiful Pearls that we get to enjoy because the oyster was able to just sort of, like, embrace the grit, embrace the pain, and then it became the pearl. And these pearls in particular are really special because they're. When I first look at them, like, these really interesting pearls, they're kind of, like, heavier than normal. They're sort of interesting. Like, they're not all round. They're all. They're actually lumpy and unique. And when I looked into what they are, discovered that they're baroque pearls. And way back then, we thought baroque pearls weren't that great because they didn't. Weren't all, like, symmetrical and beautiful and round and all looking the same. But now baroque pearls are more precious, they're more valuable because they're uniquely shaped. And each one is really individual and rare. 

31:30
Gemma Stone
And I think for me, it's about really embracing the purpose that can come from pain. And there's a season of my life that I was like, why is this happening to me? There's a season of this life where I was like, this is happening for me instead of to me. And that's a common thing that we get in the personal development world first, is like, move from the victim into a place of empowerment. Instead of this happening to me, this is happening for me. But there was a period of time where I didn't like that either, because I saw, you know, like, I worked with a lot of people that were going through a lot of pain, and to tell somebody that their child is dying and it's happening for them, I was like. Like, no. 

32:06
Gemma Stone
So then I was like, this is happening now. What? 

32:10
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Yeah. 

32:10
Gemma Stone
And I think that reframe of this is happening. The grit is in me, and it's causing me pain now. What? That's where our power lives. That's where we get to make a decision of, am I going to create a pearl from this that is going to last so much longer than me? Am I going to pass down love? Am I going to share a mission? Am I, like, offer the healing that you found for yourself? Am I going to offer that and pass it down to my clients? Like, we get to make a decision of now what? And I think that's the place where we are not bypassing the pain and pretending it's all okay, but we're also not feeling victimized by the pain we're really looking at. 

32:44
Gemma Stone
I have personal power in this, and I'm going to choose to make a pearl from this pain. And it is going to be so precious and unique, and it's going to Be just lumpy and bumpy in the perfect way because it's my unique expression of what I want to offer humanity. 

32:57
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Oh, gosh, I love that. It's so funny. I have two sets of pearls that I could go grab in my wardrobe, but one of them is baroque. I didn't even know the name of that. And they're very different. And I kind of like it much better than the perfectly beautiful. I didn't know that. But I didn't know that, like, well, these must just be the leftover pearls. Well, no, maybe. That's so great. I did not even know that. I'm not obviously not that smart in the ways of pearls, but I love it so much. So let's see. Oh, we have covered so much already. A couple of things that I'm thinking as you're just speaking is one thing that I've always felt like is a difficult thing for many people is uncertainty, right? Like, I think we create these. 

33:38
Dr. Jill Carnahan
We create these layers around your heart, your little note there that try to create certainty, try to create control. Because somehow I think we think if we have control or certainty, I always think of, like, just simple insurance, right? Our car insurance, our life insurance, all those things are just meant to provide more certainty in disaster. And so we rely on them. And then when there's a fire and we don't have coverage, we're like, oh, my gosh, this. This is horrible. But the truth is we never really had certainty or control to begin with. As a psychologist, as an expert coach and leader, how do you talk to people about dealing with that uncertainty? Because I find how we have a relationship with uncertainty tells a lot about how we go forward in the world. 

34:19
Gemma Stone
That's so true. I was talking to a client this week, actually, and she had the belief that the world is certain and it's going to unfold in a very predictable way, as most of us do. And then the next morning, she woke up and found out that she had a brain tumor and the next three months of her life didn't look the way that she expected it would. So I think part of it is this. Part of it is this invitation into recognizing that it's the uncertainty of life that makes it so precious. Like, it's the fact that we might wake up tomorrow with a brain tumor reminds us how to live today. So I think there's really something precious from being in relationship with the reality of every day is uncertain. But it's not always a brain tumor that happens. 

35:03
Gemma Stone
I had a client this week that I worked with 10 years ago, and she just came out of nowhere. I was not expecting her. And she came out of nowhere and she's like, 10 years ago, you helped me with this thing. Can you help me now? I'm like, how did you even find me? That's amazing. But also, what a delight we can be with uncertainty. There's potential for us to be delighted and surprised in the most unexpected way. So part of it, I think, is looking at the lens of, first of all, every day is uncertain. And so what a treat. Let's live like. Let's live as truly and fully as we can. Let's spread as much love as we can today, because that's the reality. And then two is what is the filter we choose to put on uncertainty? 

35:42
Gemma Stone
Depending on our past experiences, if our nervous system is really dysregulated, if we have a lot of fear filters that are going on that are clouding our relationship with reality, we can see uncertainty as a bad thing. Like, there's always something dangerous walking around the next corner, or something bad is going to happen, or the next shoe is going to drop. So the first is to really unpack the filters and the traumas that might be causing you to perceive uncertainty as a bad thing. And then also to build resilience. Because you know this. Like, you went through uncertainty, you built your resilience. And my guess is now when you are in relationship with a reality, that uncertainty is just part of life. You're like, I can handle it. Like, I handled this and I handled this and I turned that into magic. 

36:25
Gemma Stone
And look at my pearls over here. Like, no matter what life throws your way, you are going to be able to create something precious from it. Because you have built your resilience and because you have gathered all this life, these life lessons and this wisdom, and you've offered it to others and you see the impact that you're having. So that would be the second invitation I would have for people, is to really intentionally grow your resilience and. Or intentionally look back and realize like, you have survived every hard thing, every uncertain moment that you have ever been through, and you are still here. 

36:57
Gemma Stone
So we can go back and we can mine those experiences for wisdom, bring them forward, and recognize we have the personal power to be able to apply that resilience to anything that happens, whether it's an unpleasant thing, like a brain tumor, or whether it's a wonderful thing, like somebody coming back from the past and telling you the amazing impact you had on their life. 

37:17
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Wow. Oh, gosh this is so powerful. And I think the information you're sharing is really relevant to now. Like I said, I think the chaos, the urgency, all the things that are making our lives more uncertain. There's more suffering, there's more. I just deal with environmental toxicity. And there's more of that, too, right? Those kinds of things. You mentioned resilience, and I thought you did a really good job of telling the story around it. But how would you actually define, like, what is resilience? Like, what does that really mean as we go forward and try to embrace that. That word? 

37:50
Gemma Stone
When I think about resilience, I think about a story that a Hawaiian elder told me. I was in, like, Hawaii. I was just doing my own little writing retreat, and I met her at this coffee shop, and as. As elders do, she sat down and, like, uninvited, she's like, listen, I got some wisdom to dump on you. I'm like, give me a. I'm here. I'm all ears. And she sat down and she told me about this, like, experience that they had a few years before where a volcano erupted, and it came out and it wiped out, like, the lava just filled and wiped out this really sacred area. And they had some beautiful watering holes that were very precious to the Hawaiian people. And she was telling me the story of the grief and the pain and the fear and the uncertainty. 

38:38
Gemma Stone
And I. I just felt the extreme loss that they felt as a result of this, like, sacred place that had been there for hundreds of years and generations and, like, grandparents and grandchildren playing in the watering hole and doing rituals around it. And I was, like, already ready to empathize and be like, oh, my gosh, I'm sorry. That sounds terrible. And then she was like, no, we're not going there. And she said, you know what? Instead of having two watering holes, now we have six. And I think about what that means for resilience. And it's this idea of, like, hard things happen, and how can we become stronger than were before as we go through it? How can we turn, like, two watering holes into six watering holes? How can we begin to see that there's purpose in the pain? 

39:23
Gemma Stone
So for me, when I think about resilience, it's not just surviving the hard things. It's going through them in a really healthy way. Like, we got to feel the feels. We got to listen to our body. We got to regulate. We got a resource. We got to take care of our nervous system. We got to get some clean water, like, take care of ourselves. But also in the process, recognize that there's something beautiful here that is going to make me stronger than I was before, wiser than I was before, more abundant than I was before, more loving than I was before, that these hard things actually make us better. And for me, that's what resilience is. 

39:55
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Oh, I love it. And I love your story. And Gemma, you are a pearl. You are an embodiment of to love this life. It is so fun. I could talk to you for hours. One thing I want to leave people with is just really practical. What would you say are the top three things that might be daily practices or daily things that you just don't let go or you put into place to help you keep more resilient and deal with the uncertainty of life. What are your habits that are most precious to you? 

40:26
Gemma Stone
So once upon a time I was a very successful people pleasing, over functioner, a high performer. 

40:35
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Yeah. 

40:35
Gemma Stone
And I had my like 10 things that I do every day and I was at the 5am Club and I was like doing like cold plunges and all of that. So if you'd asked me a number of years ago, I would have given you my list of Here are the 10 things I do every day. And since I have released some of those stories and regulate my nervous system, what I do now is what I call my TLTL Daily 3. So TLTL is to live this life, but my TLTL Daily 3 and there's actually a lot of flexibility in it. So I'm. I have a daily three, which is one thing to take care of my body every day, one thing to take care of my mind every day and one thing to take care of my soul every day. 

41:09
Gemma Stone
So the body things can be whatever I'm inspired to because I used to be like CrossFit seven days a week but turns out CrossFit wasn't so great for my nervous system. So sometimes it might be Pilates or sometimes it might be a peloton or sometimes I'm going to go and like lift the heaviest weights I can. Or some days I'm going to go like walk in nature and listen to the birds sing. Something to take care of my body, something to take care of my mind. For me, that might mean like meditation or prayer. That might mean sometimes like a nature walk is both a body but also like I find just being in nature is so regulating for my mind and calming and peaceful. Sometimes it's journaling for my mind and it's really looking at what's the story. 

41:45
Gemma Stone
I Want to tell around this. Sometimes it's a process that I do for others called identity evolution. And when I hit this place where I'm like no, I need to expand my mind about what's possible and what identity I need to be able to create that I'll do that and then one thing for my soul. And usually that means some type of like creative expression, some type of generosity, some type of impact in the world. Or sometimes it means just like I'm going to read stories with my kids today and like let them, like I'm going to cuddle them for as long as they'll let me. And just the soulful essence expression is the third one. 

42:16
Gemma Stone
I think that the closer we live to this little heart, the more we know what nurtures that, the more we connect to it, then the more that radiance just influences the rest of our life. 

42:28
Dr. Jill Carnahan
What a great way to end. And what I really love is so often again I so resonate that old self who was out there at 5:30am in the CrossFit gym and really kind of punishing myself in a way it wasn't kind. And what I hear in what you're doing now and I've really tried to continue to go in that direction as well as a much more kindness to our souls to allow ourselves to be in real time. What do I need? I put for the longest time on my mirror and this helped me to heal. It was what does she need from me today? 

42:57
Dr. Jill Carnahan
And I would open my mirror, you know, get ready for the day and I'd just be like, I just picture my little five year old self that was so wounded and so traumatized and be like, sweetheart, what do you need today? And I'll end with this last little story. I remember probably for 20 years I didn't take a sick day at work. I mean, I just showed up, right, no matter what. And no one knew if I wasn't feeling well. I remember even after my cancer I would work with these high fevers before I knew I had this autoimmune disease. And just like no one knew. And one of that one day I woke up and I wasn't feeling great, but not enough to think about calling in sick. 

43:28
Dr. Jill Carnahan
But I looked at that mirror and I said, what does she need from me today? And I knew immediately. You need to call in and take today off, Jill. And this is like literally just a few years ago in my office and I called my office manager kind of terrified and said, I think I need to take the day off. And I did. And you know what happened by putting into place something that was healing. That little five year old who never had a day off and never allowed herself to take a break. It was such a. And of course my office manager, like, no problem, like it was no big deal. And what I realized is, like kind of you said before we think the world is like hinging on our appearance and it's so not true. 

44:01
Dr. Jill Carnahan
And for me, that simple little thing of the question, what does she need for me today? And I hear that in your soul, mind and heart. And I just want to encourage if you're listening out there, maybe it's just that simple question, what do you need today? What is your little girl, your little heart inside the circles need today? And then go out and do that and that'll actually reinforce your own healing journey. Gemma, you are precious and beautiful and I have loved this interview so much. Thank you for the work that you're doing in the world. I hope you continue to grow in your influence and ability to inspire. If people want to know more about you or work with you or see your programs, where can they find out about that? 

44:38
Gemma Stone
Yes. Well, I mean, thank you so much for the invitation. This was a beautiful, deep, like soul. Talk about taking care of the soul. I feel that today my soul is like doing a little party over here. So my, all of my work is right now over@gemma stone.com I. I do I write a Sunday love letter where I'm just like sharing my heart. I'm like, here's what's up for me. So that's a really good way. I don't share what I share in the Sunday love letter like on socials or anything. It's just like a little private love note between you and I. So that's probably a lovely way to stay in touch and connected. But you can find me over@gemma stone.com. 

45:09
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Awesome. And if you're driving or listening, wherever you're at, don't worry, this will all be in the show. Notes Gemma. Thank you. From my heart to yours. This has been so much fun. Such a Joy. 

45:18
Gemma Stone
Thank you, Dr. Jill. 

45:20
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Hey, everybody. Wasn't that an amazing interview with Gemma Stone? She is a true pearl and light in the world. I know. I enjoyed that so much getting to know her. And I hope there's a few takeaways that you took from that interview to help you on your path of transformation and resilience. Hey, if you haven't yet liked or subscribed, wherever you're listening to this or left a review, please do. We are now reaching nearly 700000 subscribers on YouTube and so please join the many people who've already subscribed if you haven't already. It helps us reach more people and get great guests like Gemma Stone. Also, if you want to leave a review on Spotify, itunes or wherever you listen to the podcast in audio form, we would sure appreciate that as well. 

46:04
Dr. Jill Carnahan
Always it's a pleasure to be here with you every week and join us again next week for a new episode.